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17-Feb-2015 23:02

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‘I’d like to tie you up with catgut and whip you with horsehair.’ 9. Melinda was chattering away, trying to defuse the focus, I realised, that she was convinced was on her.

And she said one more thing, a terse muttered phrase that fell through me like a depth charge.

‘I haven’t masturbated to the memory of my eight-year-old cousin. The clock in the corner, a Danish modern reproduction with a stylised cuckoo, chipped away the silent seconds. Melinda raised her head as if catching her husband’s scent.

They work on the muscles that make the vagina ejaculate until they can stand beside a wall and splat it with their fluid. We decided to meet at Melinda’s because she has the good carpet. I put the platter on the coffee table and sat down on the good carpet. ‘Why don’t you sit down,’ she said, and Kim and Melinda sat. Ah, Orgasm Club – the thought sent a reliable little flicker of joy into my belly. I counted the leadlight windowpanes, a childhood habit.

‘PEA,’ Lea continued, ‘is produced by the brain and associated with feelings of love.